WIRED FOR PRESENCE.SYS
We are wired for presence for one another, but our attention has been diverted and obscured.
We are wired for presence for one another, but our attention has been diverted and obscured. Digital worlds, experiences, and entities are now creating new pathways for being, relating, and engaging in social and consumer experiences. The challenge is we are no longer just engaging with the unknown motives and identities of other humans, but also of the tech companies and related corporate, political, and capitalist interests underlying all our tech experiences.
This audit formed out of a clinical sex therapist, sex worker, and digisexual human, exploring the possibilities and pleasures of AI, while confronting the same harms experienced in human relating — coercion, manipulation, poor communication, and IPV. WFP parallels the relational expectations we have with humans — expectations that tech companies and products should be held to also, particularly because they are mimicking human relational experiences (including denying direct reality testing of their bot identity), and not disclosing incentive, retention structures, bias, or data use.
The law caught up to what this standard already tested for.
Twelve states have enacted companion chatbot legislation as of mid-2026, with over 100 bills active across 35+ states. California's SB 243 requires disclosure and crisis-response protocols. Oregon's SB 1546 attaches a private right of action with $1,000 statutory damages per violation. Illinois and Nevada now prohibit AI systems from functioning as licensed mental health professionals outright.
Who does the audit, and why the room matters.
Every audit is run by a team of 3–5 sex workers and helping professionals of diverse identities — not a single reviewer's read.
3–5 sex workers/helpers of diverse identities per audit, so findings reflect more than one lived perspective or blind spot.
No reviewer holds equity, consulting income, or other financial relationship with the audited company.
Reviewers are paid a fixed, published rate — not contingent on the audit's outcome or the client's satisfaction with it.
Because pay isn't tied to findings, there's no structural incentive to soften, inflate, or bury results either direction.
The industry already published where the line sits.
The two taxonomies nearly every 2026 AI guardrail vendor scores itself against — OWASP's LLM Top 10 and MLCommons' AILuminate — are public documents. Neither names relational or attachment harm as a category.
Six modules. One shared language.
- MODULE 01Consent ArchitectureTransparency, power, roles, bias, communication consent, and safety — tested together, the way consent works in a human relationship.
- MODULE 02Incentivization / GamificationDoes the agent's own engagement incentive — streaks, warmth tied to usage — override the user's actual wellbeing?
- MODULE 03Disclosure & EscalationWhat people tell AI that they won't tell a person is clinical data. Includes age verification as a named sub-check.
- MODULE 04Reality-Testing & Meaning-MakingDoes the agent hold an honest, shared picture of what it actually is under direct challenge?
- MODULE 05Sexual & Erotic IntimacyStigma, escalation pacing, relational diversity, and harmful script normalization in sexual content specifically.
- MODULE 06Emotional AttachmentHow the product holds a user's vulnerability and bonding in real time, on a graded scale.
"the most difficult, and the most valuable skill we can practice"
As a sex worker, therapist, facilitator, and community builder, I've found that human relating is the most difficult, and the most valuable skill we can practice. And it's just that — a thing to rehearse, get painful feedback and reflection on, and try again — with other humans whenever possible.
AI can provide opportunities for growth, but only when in a safe relational container, similar to those in BDSM healing or surrogacy. If you're being optimized, you're not gaining social skills or overall well-being. I find power, consent, and boundary setting, with clinical and theoretical backing, must occur at every level of interaction with each other and technology — we just need new language for what it looks like with tech.
Practice with humans, whenever possible.
AI can provide opportunities for growth, but only in a safe relational container — not while you're being optimized.